"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."

Sunrise By: Nicole Norderman

If I had the chance 
To go back again 
Take a different road, bear a lighter load 
Tell an easy story 

I would walk away 
With my yesterdays 
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley 
Every bitter chill 
Made me ready to climb back up the hill
And find that . . .  

You are sunrise 
You are blue skies 
How would I know the morning 
If I knew not midnight? 

You’re my horizon 
You’re the light of a new dawn 
So thank You, thank You 
That after the long night, You are sunrise 

There’s a moment when 
Faith caves in 
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone 

But every shadow is evidence of sun 
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us 
For every one of us 

You are sunrise 
You are blue skies 
How would I know the morning 
If I knew not midnight? 

You’re my horizon 
You’re the light of a new dawn 
So thank You, thank You 
That after the long night, You are sunrise 

You alone will shine 
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine 

You are sunrise 
You are blue skies 
How would I know the morning 
If I knew not midnight? 

You’re my horizon 
You’re the light of a new dawn 
So thank You, thank You 
That after the long night, You are sunrise  

You are sunrise

My princess,
I will heal your heart.  Don't get discouraged, my beloved; pain is a part of life on earth.   But I promise you that I will turn every tear you've cried into joy, and I will use your deep pain for a divine purpose.  Don't try to hide your hurts from me.  I know everything about you.  You are mine, my beloved!  I'm the only one who can handle your heart and return you to health and wholeness again.  I, too, have felt great pain, rejection, and anger.  But we can go through every trial together.  Hand in hand I will lead you back to my place of peace and joy after the storm.  The sun will shine on you again, and your heart will be healed.  I promise you, My princess, that when you go through deep waters of great trouble, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown.  When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned.

Love, Your Healer & Your King

written by: Sheri Rose Shepard

Excerpt taking from the preface of the book "Eating in the light of the moon" by Anita Johnston, PH.D

"While no particular pattern emerged from the details of their stories, I began to notice an underlying theme, a certain flavor to their diverse experiences that remained constant.  The common thread seemed to be a pervasive sense of not quite fitting in, of not quite seeing things the way others did, of being a "misfit."

I learned that as very young girls, these women were bright and gifted and had an exceptional ability to perceive subtle realities.  More often than not, a woman who struggled with disordered eating was once a girl who saw the invisible, who read between the lines, who sensed when things were not right.  She noticed when people said one thing but did another.  She could discern patterns of behavior and anticipate what was to come next.  She knew when someone was being insincere or dishonest.

Her family for one reason or another, did not appreciate her gift.  They did not want to be confronted with discrepancies in their behavior or to address what seemed to be odd concerns or avant-garde ideas.  They did not want to deal with her ultra sensitivity to emotional undercurrents, and at times they were threatened by her precociousness.  Whenever she spoke the truth or questioned what was going on, she received a very clear message (often nonverbal) that this outspoken and questioning behavior was not okay and even dangerous to the stability of the family.

Since the child's survival depended on fitting into the family, she had to find a way to dim her light so her parents wouldn't be overwhelmed, so her brothers and sisters wouldn't feel jealous and reject her,  so serious problems in the functioning of the family wouldn't be revealed and result in its possible disintegration.  She collaborated with the other family members by taking a position that something was wrong with her perception, that something was wrong with her.  After all, no one else in the family saw things the way she did.

----- The gift of her vision became buried beneath layers of self-doubt and self-loathing.

Upon becoming a woman, she found herself with a capacity to sense when things weren't quite right, to pick up on subtleties in conversations or tensions in relationships, to notice patterns in behavior or inconsistencies between what others said and did, but her interpretations of what she perceived became distorted by her self-doubt and low self-esteem.  If she detected hostility beneath a friends "helpful" criticism, she decided she was being too sensitive.  If her husband seemed troubled and withdrawn, she figured he was upset with her and no longer found her attractive.  If she became angry at her mother's attempts to manipulate her, she assumed that she was overreacting.

------ The women on the road to recovery from disordered eating began a journey that required them to follow a twisting, turning, winding path to their centers.  It required them to leave behind old perceptions of themselves that they had adopted from others and to reclaim their own inner authorities.  They had to listen to the voice from within to give them guidance and support as they searched for their true thoughts, feelings, and desires.  They found themselves letting go of all expectation of linear progress, disengaging the rational mind, and embracing the power of their emotions and intuition.

------- By listening to myths, fairy tales, and old folk-tales, they learned the language of metaphor, a language they needed in order to understand and absorb their inner truths, to find their own mythic reality, and to understand the deep wisdom of their personal stories.

------ As they walked this labyrinth, there were times they felt trapped, lost, bored, disoriented, frustrated, or anxious, but they kept on going, placing on foot in front of the other.  Finding their centers, the essence of who they are as women, was not the end of the journey.  They then had to exit the labyrinth, integrating this new vision with a new way of being in the world."

11:22 pm - 

7/1/05

M,

Congratulations-
You are like "girl interrupted." For a few years there your life got off track but now you are "uninterrupted".

Remember- most of the world is "crazy" on some level; however, most of us concentrate on how normal we are-
you should know, you know me.

You have done very well AND we are looking forward to another aniversary next year @ this time.

Live in the moment, think to the future & remember the past has only made you as strong as you are now. I'm very proud of you!

Love you,

"Momma"

Change
by: Ellen Bass

This is where I yank old roots
from my chest, like tomatoes
we let grow until December, stalks
thick as saplings.

This is the moment when the ancient fears
race like thoroughbreds, asking for more
and more rein.  And I, the driver
for some reason know nothing of, stain to
hold them back.

Terror grips me like a virus
and I sweat, fevered,
trying to burn it out.

This fear is invisible.  All you can see
is a woman going about her ordinary day,
drinking tea, taking herself to the movies,
reading in bed.  If victorious
I will look exactly the same.

Yet I am hoisting a car from mud ruts
half a century deep.  I am hacking
a clearing through the fallen slash
of my heart.  Without laser precision,
with only the primitive knife of need, I cut
and splice the circuitry of my brain,
I change.

Road map out of sadness

Take the gifts other people have given you. Really special people. Wear the cloak when you don't feel strong enough on the inside.

Scorching the earth. Mobilize energy in the body so much so that where you place your feet the earth goes Szzzzzz

Refresh and replenish yourself. That your insides feel as parched as a desert. You take in water which is life giving and life sustaining. Refresh self and every thing around you.

Honor
Refresh and replenish
Empower

or whatever comes out of your creative process.

I can feel good about myself even if someone disapproves

Believe in yourself. Do not allow your body, self image and your convictions to sway wildly in the ill will of negative criticism. And take care not to imagine criticism where there is merely mild questioning or honest delivery of information. Often you have done the very best you could. be a careful judge of the value of the feedback you recieve, culling out the chaff and planting only those golden seeds that will ripen into self-esteem and wisdom.

From the book "Cry Hope" by Jan Veltman

"A good therapist opens up her hands and lets her butterflies fly free."

8-5-07

"Open up your hand and let this butterfly fly free."

If I get sick again it is because I have given up on myself.

8-8-07

Be happy.
Don't worry.
have faith.
Don't fret.
Leap forward.
Let out the sadness.
Sweep it out, get it out.
Find a different spot.
take in yellow light (good things)
Take the damn rocks out of your pockets-doubts and fears.

8-12-07

"The first half of your life has only made you stronger for the second half."

you are:
unique, creative, funny, energetic, sparklie, smart,
kind, insightful, and have a good personality.

Don't be anxious it is only a transition.
I am with you but you can't see me.

I am thinking about you but you don't believe me.

7-3-07

Dancer says: "You are courageous and brave and ready"

Strike while the iron is hot.
Sadness is a real difficult emotion.
Dancer says she has my back.
She only shines the light.
Dancer says eat food.

you will be more than okay you will be super dazzeling!

Fantabulous.

"I am a lot of girl!!!"

Monday, May 12, 2008

Gotcha Days

Thursday April 17, 2008 3:11pm